I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Send help, water and tortillas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize