Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
