I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
