how can u be prego again
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
