turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
