u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
