don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
