i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
