if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
