CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
