and you said cock pushups were impossible
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize