someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
