Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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