Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize