watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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