you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
