They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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