Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize