better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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