her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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