Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize