If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
