I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
