So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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