Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
