Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
