If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
