remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
