just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize