You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
