Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
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