I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
