ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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