Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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