Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I believe in your delicious
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize