Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
