i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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