This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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