i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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