her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it because I queefed?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
