Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
