found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
