I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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