I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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