Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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