I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
