In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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