I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize