This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
