oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
