trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize