She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
