Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize