Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i think we sleep fucked last night...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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