There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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