What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
