we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
