I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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