i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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