I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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