So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
