I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
