Non-Jews are for practice
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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