I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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