Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
