Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
