Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
