Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's paint friendship bongs
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
