I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
