Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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