How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
