dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
